The Power of Pain
At the weekend, I suggested to Lila (11 year old daughter) we watch the story of Anne Frank.
We have never lived with a TV, I saw it was available on YouTube, I thought I remembered it as a great story, it was pouring with rain, I thought we could snuggy up and be cosy together.
It wasn’t long before I was wondering why on earth I had thought it was a good idea
Talk about horrendously depressing and awful!!!!!
In our home-educating lives in nature, I have tried to shield my children from the ‘horrors’ in the world.
Maybe I’ve been wrong, but I wanted them to see the beauty in life, to grow in love, security, with an openness, not cynical, not fear.
Why was I showing my daughter this horror?
I felt as if I must have suffered a temporary memory loss in thinking it was a good idea.
Yet there it was! It seemed as if it must be so, the Universe had worked it out, it must be the right thing.
Having started I definitely couldn’t stop.
And so we continued.
Through the unfair segregation of the Jews, the unspoken fear, the hiding, the resilience, the impatience in hiding so long, the tremendous courage of their concealers, understanding the people who revealed them, the terror of being discovered and knowing that noting could undo it, the wordless horror of the transport trains, the camps, seething with so many, anger at the camp guards, confusion of what on earth was creating the rules, grief at the conditions, the unfairness, the illness, starvation and eventual death of our heroine and most of her family.
The raw pain flooded our bodies, our minds and our hearts.
And we felt fierce, and clear and purposeful and motivated., and as if there is NOTHING else in the world to do other than to work for justice, peace.
That pain and that horror became a valuable resource, a fuel, a driving force.
Together we shared this experience and it was a gift.
We were filled and touched. Wrenched and broken. Determined and purposeful.
Together we are formidable and focused and I am so pleased to feel that this horror will fuel my daughter to stand up, to step out, to have clarity about the world she wants to create.
For this experience I give thanks, and I dedicate my work to all repressed people.
I focus my gaze on the creation of a world Paradise for us all.